Owning a BMW GS does not make the owner an accomplished motorcyclist. But the man we overtook was driving like a wet rag. When we had a nicotine stop a few kilometers further – you have to nurture your addictions – the BMW limped into the parking lot and came to an embarrassing clumsy stop. Then to fall. We knew that BMW drivers have their traditions, but this was new to us. So we went to have a look.
The BMW high pot was on his boss
Together we lifted the Beemer and set it upright. With a collected past as a sports diver and the same as a firefighter, you can browse through your memories together under “Life-saving actions”. The man on the floor seemed ready for such experiments. But you don't feel the wrist, neck or groin so easily on a motorcycle fully dressed in Official Protective, authorized BMW Clothing. It seemed like a nice option to hold a lens in front of his mouth and then quickly put the glasses back on. A fogged glass means breath. And it's nice that you can't see that without glasses. There was no steam.
Then you notice that such an adventurer wrapped in CE protectors is very difficult to get started by chest compressions. With a good chest compressions, you measure your success by the number of bruised ribs. With such a super-safe crumple zone in front of the sternum, he wasn't going to be, we thought. So everything had to be opened and removed before we could get started. While Rudolf started the first pumping session, I must have called 112. We had estimated that we could possibly only arrange some preconditions so that the BMW driver could continue to meet his financing obligations. “Pump and ventilate until you are tired.” So we did. Such a highly intimate mouth-to-mouth contact with someone of the same sex. That was new to me.
Emotions and targeted violence
One of the people who got out of a curious car had apparently seen too many emo programs on TV and showed her empathy by screaming with whoops “But he's going to die! You let him die!” Emo TV is a time bomb under our civilization.
Friend Rudolf tried it with: “Calm down, girl, we are all going to die after all. But we try to keep it up for a while.” Emotional women are not particularly susceptible to calming or reason.
The lady went completely crazy and started pulling on me
If you sit with your ass up and your mouth on that of a complete stranger, that approach does not come across well. I kicked back and she went down moaning. "Size 45 rules!" Her fellow travelers now started to interfere and Rudolf took out the most annoying one with a headbutt. In cheap American action movies, the hero stands up after a headbutt. Not really.
Rudolf took over the massage again and I ran screaming with my head forward to the remaining car moron who took off. We now had three people on the tarmac and I wondered if we would get a quantity discount from the ambulance brother.
The ambulance and police came about the same time
The pump of the BMW driver was restarted with the sandwich maker from the ambulance. Those left behind were heard by law enforcement. The end of the story? The BMW driver survived. And we were charged with serious assault by two of the people in the curious car. So be vigilant with CPR.